


complications

by artemis_west



Series: the life and growth of carrots [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Canon, Rare Pairings, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-13 04:49:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13563180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artemis_west/pseuds/artemis_west
Summary: "Nothing worthwhile is ever without complications." - Nora Roberts





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> perhaps the rarest ship of them all....kevin/aaron/matt, or as me and my friends like to call them....kaarott......
> 
> this ship was introduced to me one day in the group chat and i became obsessed because it's just so perfect and i have so many ideas so this is the first in a series i hope to publish! pretty sure this is the first ever kaarott fic on ao3 so i hope y'all like it and i hope i can get everyone into this ship with me

Aaron Minyard’s life was complicated. 

That was an understatement. 

It had been far too complicated up to this point, and Aaron wasn’t looking for any more of those complications. He was in a good place now. Now that Andrew and Neil were together, Aaron’s life was easier. He was free. He was . . . somewhat happy. Things with Katelyn were on the rocks, but he wasn’t too upset about that - they were heading towards a friendly breakup. And that was fine. It was just that now, Aaron felt a little lonely. There was nothing he could really do about it, though, so he ignored it and tried to enjoy the newfound freedom he had now that his deal with Andrew was annulled. 

Aaron didn’t want any more complications. He was hoping to avoid them for a while. 

But complications found him in the mountainous forms of a 6’2 striker and a 6’4 backliner. 

 

*

 

Ever since Aaron had arrived at Palmetto, he’d noticed Kevin Day. It was impossible not to notice him. There was the height, for one thing - Aaron, cursed to be a dwarf for the rest of his life, was always noticing people who overshadowed him - and of course there was the fame. The tattoo, the past, the face. 

What Aaron tried  _ not  _ to notice was how much he thought that face was good-looking.

He’d never thought he was into anyone other than girls. He didn’t think he could be. But upon his first meeting with Kevin, something stirred in Aaron that he hadn’t known was there, and he tried with all his might to strangle it and push it down. For one thing, Andrew would never let it happen. For another, Aaron didn’t  _ want _ it to happen. His life was already hard enough. 

So he ignored it. He pursued Katelyn when they met in their shared biology seminar. Andrew wouldn’t approve of that, either, but it was safer than the alternative. ( _ It’s not even an alternative,  _ Aaron scolded himself over and over again.  _ It’s nothing. It will never be anything. _ )

But Aaron noticed the subtle looks and glances Kevin always sent him when Kevin thought Aaron wasn’t looking.

It was impossible not to notice.

He noticed the small kindnesses Kevin did for him (buying him coffee, walking with him to class when their paths intersected on campus, hanging out with him at Eden’s Twilight when the cousins’ took a trip there). Aaron didn’t read too much into it. It was just friendly. Since Kevin was part of Andrew’s circle, they were around each other all the time, and it was inevitable that Kevin and Aaron would have to spend time together. That was all it was. Kevin was just being nice. Besides, Kevin was much too focused on Exy to ever be serious about a relationship. And when Neil showed up, it was Kevin who said it was easier to remain heterosexual. So Aaron passed it off as part of Kevin’s helplessly charming nature. 

Andrew never said anything about it, and Aaron kept on with Katelyn in secret, desperate to be rid of this strange feeling he got whenever Kevin was around. Which was nearly all the time. It was easier when Kevin was an asshole, which was most of the time. It was harder when Aaron had to watch over Kevin whenever he drank too much. It was harder when Aaron noticed the pain Kevin kept bottled up. It was harder when Aaron could relate to him, because he kept pain bottled up, too. Heaps of it. It was harder when Aaron listened to Kevin’s drunken rambles about Riko Moriyama.

The feeling faded over time, but it was always still there, sitting on the bottom of his stomach. 

 

*

 

Matt Boyd was different. Matt was openly nicer to Aaron when the cousins arrived at Palmetto. Even through Andrew’s trial of Matt, getting him clean and sober, Matt never failed to be kind. Aaron wasn’t allowed to be friends with him, though, so he hardly spoke to Matt. He never responded to Matt’s vain attempts at friendship. He saw the way it troubled Matt, but he ignored how it put a guilty lump in his stomach. It had to be this way. It would always be this way. Andrew wouldn’t let it be any different. 

Most of all, Aaron ignored the way he kind of liked Matt’s smile. 

He ignored the way he felt a weird flutter when he stood next to Matt and noticed his height, even taller than Kevin. He ignored the way it felt when he and Matt played close to each other on the court. He ignored the way it felt when he heard Matt’s laugh, the same way he ignored the way it felt when he saw Kevin put on his charming media facade for the cameras.

But Matt had Dan, and Aaron had Katelyn, and Kevin had Exy. That was how life went, and Aaron never expected it to change. He would just have to live with that. 

 

*

 

In a way, Neil was Aaron’s savior. (He hated that fact and never, ever acknowledged it, but it was true). When Neil came along and became the center of Andrew’s world, Aaron started to feel the shift in his life. It was gradual, at first, and then it was all at once. Aaron really began to notice it after his first joint therapy session with Andrew and Bee. He really began to notice it after Baltimore. He really began to notice it when he realized maybe he and Katelyn weren’t meant to be together. He  _ really _ began to notice it when he moved in with Matt. 

He really began to notice it after Riko died, and Kevin spent an hour crying in Aaron’s room because Andrew and Neil didn’t understand Kevin’s grief. Aaron began to notice it when he put his arms around Kevin and held him. 

He began to notice it when Matt showed up and sat with them, rubbing Kevin’s back until the tears were gone. 

He began to notice it when Dan and Matt broke up completely out of the blue, surprising the whole team. It was a friendly parting, and they both seemed happy with it. Nothing changed between the two of them except that they stopped kissing and spending nights in each other’s beds. When Nicky asked, Dan just shrugged and said, “It was the best thing for both of us.” Matt said, “It wasn’t what I really wanted.” (He glanced quickly at Aaron when he said that, and Aaron passed it off as a fluke because Matt couldn’t  _ possibly  _ be looking at him that way. There were no explanations for that.)

Aaron began to notice it when Kevin and Matt both started spending more time with him. 

He noticed it during that entire summer after the championship game against the Ravens.

And then, one day, it became impossible to ignore anymore.

 

*

 

Aaron didn’t know what to do with all this newfound attention. He didn’t know what to do with the looks Kevin and Matt started giving him. It seemed like if he did anything, he would be inviting those complications which he wanted so badly to avoid from now until the foreseeable future. So he did nothing. He let it happen. He let Kevin and Matt do what they wanted - which was really nothing, except to go out of their way to be nice to him, and to spend their free time with him, what little there was of it between Exy and school. Kevin was no less focused on Exy, but he was also more focused on Aaron. Matt, as Aaron’s roommate, was constantly around, always asking if Aaron needed anything or if he wanted to hang out. It was almost overwhelming to Aaron, having the two of them both trying to . . . he didn’t know what they were trying to do. He didn’t want to put a name to it. 

If Andrew noticed, he never said a word, and bringing it up to him would be dangerous. So Aaron tried his best to ignore it, like he did most other things. Only when he was alone did he even dare to think about what it would mean if he decided he wanted to encourage Matt and Kevin. Only when he was alone did he dare think about what he really felt for the two of them. And he decided the safest thing to do was to never, ever make a move unless he was  _ sure  _ Matt and Kevin wanted the same thing he did. Which was . . . Aaron sighed. He still didn’t really know. 

Complications, all of it.

Unbeknownst to him, Matt and Kevin were doing the same thing. They had both decided - without talking about it or acknowledging what lay between them - that they would never initiate anything with Aaron unless Aaron expressed any interest. And it didn’t look like Aaron was going to say anything. So they were stuck, the three of them, and they might have stayed like that forever, if it hadn’t been for Kevin.

 

*

 

Aaron was out that afternoon, at the library studying for a biology test he had coming up. Matt was alone in their dorm, wondering if he should bring Aaron a coffee. Just as he decided not to bother him - Aaron had been acting weird for the last few weeks, and the last thing Matt wanted to do was make things weirder - there was a knock on the door.

Matt got up to answer it. It was Kevin, which was both surprising and not. 

“Hey,” Matt said gently, smiling at him. Kevin smiled back. Matt liked when Kevin smiled genuinely like that - his face was really something. They’d all seen Kevin’s media smile before, the one he gave to the cameras for interviews and public appearances, but  _ this  _ smile, his real one, was so rare that whenever it made an appearance, Matt briefly felt the wind knocked out of him. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” Kevin cleared his throat. He paused, looking anxiously over Matt’s shoulder. “Is Aaron here?”

“Library,” Matt said. “Studying.”

“Right. He’s got that really big test coming up, doesn’t he?” A notch of concern appeared between Kevin’s dark eyebrows. 

“Yeah. He’s really nervous about it, I think.”

“Has he seemed okay to you?” Kevin asked, shoving his hands in the pockets of his track pants. “He doesn’t really . . . I mean, he still talks to us, but it’s different, I think. Weirder.”

“Yeah.” Matt nodded in agreement. He’d been noticing the weirdness for a while, but he hadn’t wanted to say anything in case he was the only one. He was glad he wasn’t. He worried about Aaron. To know that Kevin worried about him too was comforting. 

Kevin cleared his throat again. “That’s actually why I’m here. I think we should talk about . . . “ He trailed off awkwardly, a blush coloring his cheeks.

“The elephant in the room?” Matt suggested, smirking at him.

Kevin sighed, shoulders slumping. “Yeah.” Matt gestured Kevin inside and closed the door behind him. Without having to say anything, they both moved to the couch. Kevin sat next to Matt, one leg tucked underneath him. They sat sideways facing each other. 

“I didn’t know how to bring it up, but I didn’t want to just keep pretending it’s not real anymore,” Kevin said, resting his elbow on the back of the couch. He scrubbed a hand through his hair. He looked tired, but he always sort of looked tired. 

“I know,” Matt said. “I get it.” He knew what was coming. He’d almost gone to Kevin himself with this, but Kevin beat him to the punch. Matt was glad they were finally going to address it.

After a deep breath, Kevin looked Matt in the eyes and said, with as much conviction as he usually reserved for Exy, “I’m in love with Aaron. I know you are too. I’ve seen the way you look at him.”

The  _ way  _ Kevin said it - not jealous, not possessive. It was just as if he were stating a fact from one of his history books. He was in love with Aaron. That was simply the way things were. And Matt . . .

“Yeah, I am,” Matt said. 

Matt was, too. 

They were both in love with Aaron. So completely, head over heels in love. Matt wasn’t sure when exactly it had happened for Kevin, but for him, he’d started to notice it even before he broke up with Dan. He’d started to notice it after Andrew got him sober, and he played with Aaron on the court for the first time with a clean mind and a clear head. He’d started to notice it when Aaron grinned at him after they made a beautiful play off each other.

He’d been with guys before, back when he and his father were messing around with things they shouldn’t have been, but Matt had never really counted them. He didn’t think he was into men. Dan had always been enough so that he never even looked at other people. But something about Aaron turned on a light in him, and that light had never dimmed, not for a second.

Dan hadn’t been angry. That didn’t come as much of a surprise to Matt. Dan had always seemed to know him better than he knew himself, and they would always be good friends.  _ Allison _ was the angry one after Dan and Matt broke up. The explanations they gave her weren’t satisfying enough, apparently. She was still investigating, claiming she was going to get to the bottom of it if it killed her. She had bets going on it with Nicky now, too. (Nicky was positively heartbroken by their breakup, even more so because he didn’t understand it).

Matt wasn’t sure what would happen if the rest of the team found out the truth. He didn’t know if it would be good or bad, especially where Andrew was concerned. All he knew was that he loved Aaron, and he wanted to be with him.  _ And _ Kevin. Kevin, with his beautiful rare smile and his green eyes and that fierce chess piece tattoo on his cheek. Kevin with his incredible strength. Matt admired that strength more than he could say. Matt had always admired Kevin as the Exy star he was, but after he’d gotten to know him (when he wasn’t being an asshole), Matt found that he genuinely liked the person underneath the mask. More than liked, even.

Kevin’s relationship with Thea had never really been substantial to begin with, and when he called her to officially break it off once and for all, it was polite and formal. Kevin had started to realize he was in love with Aaron one night when they were all at Eden’s together. Kevin had always leaned on Andrew, had given so much of his life and his trust to Andrew, that he thought, for a while, he was in love with  _ him.  _ But that night at Eden’s, Kevin and Aaron danced with each other, and it was like Kevin’s eyes opened, and he saw everything. And everything was Aaron. So many nights spent with Aaron watching over Kevin while he drank himself sick. So many nights of  _ Aaron  _ being the one to watch after him when Andrew didn’t feel like doing it. Andrew was always within reach, but most of the time - and more and more frequently after Neil arrived - he sent his brother to keep eyes on Kevin. And that had made Kevin realize just how much Aaron meant to him. Aaron was always there to listen to Kevin’s drunken rants about the Moriyamas, and then his impassioned complaints and worries about Neil. Sometimes Aaron joined in on those rants when they involved Neil. 

Kevin loved him. So much it hurt. It hurt because he couldn’t do anything about it. 

“But I’m really into you, too, you know,” Matt said gently, his face open and earnest. “I want you both. It’s not just him.” 

“Really?” Kevin looked surprised. His eyes widened, genuine shock painting his face, and Matt grinned.  “I didn’t know . . . I thought - ” He stopped talking for a minute before he said, a little shyly, “I’m into you, too.” This was something that was surprisingly easy to admit. Kevin liked Matt, had always liked him - he was a great player on the court, and he was an asset to the team. He’d overcome addiction where Kevin was still fighting it. And sometimes Kevin did feel his heart beat a little faster when Matt grinned at him like that. He remembered Matt helping to comfort him when he was mourning Riko, Matt being one of the only ones who attempted to understand Kevin’s complicated feelings of grief.

He didn’t ask Matt when he’d realized he was into guys. Matt didn’t ask Kevin, either. They just looked at each other and saw truth, and something like a future in each other’s eyes.

“Good,” Matt said, laughing lightly. His eyes sparkled. Kevin smiled. “That’s good.”

Kevin let out a breath. A balloon of relief popped in his chest, and he let the air go. “I just wanted to get that out of the way.” His face fell a little through his smile. “Not that anything will happen with Aaron, not until he says anything to either of us, at least.” He didn’t look incredibly hopeful. Matt hated the sadness in his eyes, so he took Kevin’s hand and squeezed it.

“Right. Yeah.” Matt wasn’t very hopeful, either. It didn’t seem like Aaron was going to say anything to either of them. But he had to  _ know.  _ Kevin and Matt both knew that Aaron had to at least have some hint of how they felt about him. Aaron wasn’t stupid. He was perceptive. Smart. One of the smartest people they knew. Matt knew that had to have been the reason why Aaron had been acting strangely the last few weeks.

“But until he does,” Kevin said, looking up at Matt from under long eyelashes. “Do you think maybe you and me . . .” He let his sentence trail off, the blank spaces filling themselves in.

Matt laughed again, brighter this time. “I would really like that, Kev.”

Kevin laughed nervously, his stomach fluttering when Matt called him that. “Okay. Great.” He shuffled a little closer to Matt on the couch. They were still holding hands.

Matt reached up and brushed his thumb over Kevin’s cheek, where his tattoo was.

“Can I kiss you?” It was said so softly, so gently, that it made Kevin’s chest nearly ache.

“Yeah,” Kevin whispered. He hadn’t kissed anyone since - well, actually, the last time had been a month ago at Eden’s, when he was trying to drown himself in alcohol and forget that Aaron would probably never love him back. Kevin had found a willing girl and coaxed her into a back room. He remembered Aaron not looking at him for the rest of the night.

He didn’t think about that now as Matt leaned closer and pressed their lips together. 

Matt was careful with him, gentle, letting Kevin dictate the terms of it. But his hands were warm and strong as they settled on Kevin’s thighs. Kevin kissed Matt back, leaning into his touch. Slowly, Matt drew Kevin into his lap. Kevin let himself be moved, straddling Matt’s legs and wrapping his arms around Matt’s neck. He deepened the kiss, tongue tentatively reaching out to meet Matt’s. Matt was a good kisser. Attentive. Slow and soft. His hands cupped Kevin’s face.

When Riko was alive and Kevin’s entire world was Exy, he couldn’t think about relationships like this. It was why his ‘relationship’ with Thea had never really even been a relationship. Now that Riko was gone, Kevin was realizing, for the first time, that he didn’t have to be so single-minded anymore. There was still his career to consider - the implications of being in a relationship with a man (if it were ever to go public) would surely arise and stir up the press - but Exy didn’t have to be Kevin’s sole focus anymore. He didn’t have to constantly strive to be the best. With Riko gone, Kevin  _ was  _ the best. Some would say he’d always been. 

Matt wasn’t thinking about Exy as he kissed Kevin. He was only thinking about how soft Kevin’s lips were, and how solid and muscular his body was underneath Matt’s exploring hands.

Kevin surprised himself when he started grinding his hips into Matt’s lap, and he surprised himself even more when Matt bit his earlobe and whispered, “Bedroom?” in his ear and Kevin whispered, “Yeah,” back. 

They made it quick, just in case Aaron came back. But it was still mind-blowing. It was surprisingly (or not so surprisingly, depending on which way you looked at it) easy for both of them to adjust to. Matt thought he could get used to it. Kevin thought he might like to have this in his life all the time.

Aaron didn’t come back until much later, and by that time, Kevin had gone back to his own room, where he stayed up half the night thinking and imagining. 

If Aaron noticed the marks on Matt’s skin, he didn’t say anything. 


	2. Chapter 2

_ Library? Ancient history stacks _ , Kevin texted Matt. Matt grinned down at his phone. 

_ I’m already here,  _ he texted back. He gathered up his things from his study table where he’d been sitting alone, and headed towards the third floor, where the ancient history section was. It was Kevin’s favorite section. It was also Kevin’s favorite place to hook up when they couldn’t manage it in the dorms. 

It had been going on for weeks now, this thing between the two of them. It was kind of amazing. Matt loved everything about it. He didn’t mind the sneaking and the hiding. He could see why Kevin thought it was necessary, and he went along with what Kevin wanted pretty easily. It was worth it to get to be with him. 

Kevin waited for Matt by the shelves that held the texts on Ancient Greece and Rome. He grinned when Matt came around the corner from the ceiling-high metal shelves. Kevin really liked this thing they had. He may have even sort of loved it. The last few weeks had been . . . nice. Way more than nice. It was surprising, how much he loved it. He’d tried to stay his usual self on the court so that the other Foxes (Aaron) wouldn’t notice anything amiss, but Kevin smiled more now, laughed more easily. 

Of course, there might have been a little something missing for both of them. But they never talked about that. They tried to be enough for each other. 

Matt put his arms around Kevin and lifted him off the ground, making Kevin laugh. Matt kissed his neck and nipped at his skin. Kevin hummed, and Matt felt the vibrations of it on his lips. He kissed Kevin’s Adam’s apple and licked his throat. 

“Did you get the study room?” he asked, trailing kisses up to Kevin’s jaw. Kevin offered up the key he’d put in his back pocket. 

“Yeah.” He’d reserved one of the private study rooms up here for an hour. Matt grinned and put Kevin down, keeping hold of his hand. Kevin lead them to Study Room A and put the key in the lock. He tugged Matt inside, closing the door behind them. It locked from the outside, so no one would be able to get in. They were alone here. 

Kevin put his things down and sat on the table. He opened his legs so Matt could slide in between them. Matt put his things near Kevin’s and moved in to kiss him, slow and sweet. Kevin looped his arms around Matt’s neck, fingers curling in the hair at the back of his head. His tongue met Matt’s, and they kissed leisurely, slowly. Kevin had missed kissing like this. He didn’t think he’d ever actually kissed someone like this before, like he  _ wanted  _ to kiss them and they wanted to kiss him back, and he felt like he’d been missing it all his life.

Matt loved the feeling of Kevin’s mouth on his, Kevin’s hands on his body. He’d started to become pretty addicted to it. It was so different from Dan, but in a good way. In the best way. Not that anything with Dan had been horrible - Matt loved Dan, and he liked all the things they used to do together - but this was just . . . different. Learning Kevin’s body was something Matt wanted to spend hours doing.

“Will you fuck me?” Kevin asked against Matt’s lips. “I brought lube and condoms. In my backpack.”

“Yeah,” Matt said, voice just slightly raspy. “Yeah, baby, I’ll fuck you.” Most of the time when they hooked up in the library, there were quickie handjobs or blowjobs exchanged, and they reserved fucking for when they were alone at the dorms. But it was so hard to find time alone at the dorms. And neither of them wanted Aaron getting suspicious. Kevin had already been coming over a lot more, and neither he nor Matt missed the speculative looks Aaron gave them. But it would’ve been even more suspicious if Matt and Kevin left the dorm together - what reason did they have for suddenly being friends? Usually, Aaron ended up leaving, mumbling that he was going to the library. 

But Kevin had been wanting Matt all day, and he couldn’t wait any longer. He took off his shirt as Matt pulled away from him to grab the lube and condoms from Kevin’s backpack. Kevin unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them off quickly, kicking them off his feet and toeing out of his shoes until he was left in his underwear. He leaned back on the table, spreading his legs to give Matt easy access. Matt’s breath left him at the sight of Kevin spread out on the table.

“Damn,” Matt said, setting the supplies down next to Kevin so he could take off his own clothes. Kevin grinned and reached for the lube. He pushed his underwear down. Matt reached out a hand and batted Kevin on the wrist, a wicked grin on his face. “That’s my job.”

“Get to it, then,” Kevin said, spreading his legs wider and handing Matt the lube. Matt shook his head with a smirk as he opened the bottle and coated two of his fingers. Kevin closed his eyes and bit his lip when Matt rubbed the fingers around his rim, pushing gently. 

Matt’s voice was soft when he said, “Let me in, baby,” and it was all it took for Kevin to open up, to let Matt’s fingers slide into him. He bit his lip on a moan as Matt fingered him open, stretching him out perfectly. When Matt’s dick replaced the fingers, Kevin grabbed his cock and stroked himself, closing his eyes and thinking of Aaron. 

It wasn’t the first time it had happened, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. The first few times it had happened, Kevin had felt guilty, but he stopped feeling that way when Matt admitted that he thought about Aaron sometimes when they were hooking up, too. They both still pined for him hopelessly. It would probably never stop. 

Matt fucked Kevin gently. He was so different from Riko. So much more caring and kind. Kevin liked being the bottom when they were together, liked the way Matt treated him. Matt had only bottomed once so far since they’d been together, and he’d said he didn’t mind either way. It was nice to know, but this worked for Kevin. Matt made him feel safe. He trusted Matt. 

“Fuck,” Kevin moaned when Matt got the angle just right. Matt leaned down, put his arms underneath Kevin, and lifted him so they were chest-to-chest. Kevin stroked himself harder, digging his thumb into his slit. He bit his lip and pictured Aaron’s eyes when they were looking at him with something like pride whenever Kevin did well on the court. He pictured Aaron’s secret smile when Kevin accidentally said something funny. 

Matt was mostly focused on Kevin and making him feel good, but he couldn’t help it if he envisioned the way Aaron mumbled to himself when he studied in the dorm, or the way Aaron tried not to smile whenever Matt made him breakfast. 

Kevin came with a soft cry that was muffled in Matt’s neck, and Matt came a few seconds later, spilling into the condom as he kissed Kevin and stroked his face. They held onto each other for a few minutes after that, neither of them seeing any reason to move. 

Matt’s phone buzzed from his bag on the floor, and he sighed. Kevin held onto him as Matt slipped out of him, biting Matt’s shoulder gently. 

“You gotta let me go,” Matt said softly, running his hand down Kevin’s arm. A glance at the analog clock on the wall showed that he had twenty minutes before his next class. He knew Kevin’s schedule was free for the rest of the day. 

“Can I walk you to class?” Kevin asked, slipping off the desk to put his clothes back on. He had a hopeful look on his face, and Matt smiled. 

“Sure.” They were careful never to be too obvious about each other in public or around the rest of the Foxes, but Kevin had been hanging around Matt more often than he used to. To cover it up, he’d been trying to spend more time with the other Foxes, too. He claimed he was following Neil’s advice - Neil had apparently told him to stop being an asshole to their teammates and to make at least some sort of effort towards friendship - and the other Foxes seemed like they were buying it, for now. Matt didn’t really know how well it was working, but Kevin didn’t seem too worried about it. 

They walked out of the study room together and left the library, and Kevin made sure they weren’t touching. Matt wanted to take his hand, but he held himself back. 

When they left, neither of them noticed Aaron, sitting at his own table and watching them leave. 

 

*

 

Aaron was paying attention. 

He’d  _ been  _ paying attention for the last few weeks, and he’d only started because he noticed that Kevin and Matt  _ stopped  _ paying attention to him. At least they didn’t act like they did before. They still smiled at him, still did nice things for him, but it was . . . less. It wasn’t as much. Aaron didn’t know why, but he was starting to miss it. And he hated that. He wasn’t supposed to miss it. 

Kevin and Matt looked at each other differently now. Aaron didn’t know if anyone else could see it, but it was obvious to him. A few times, when he’d been watching Matt and Kevin out of the corner of his eye, he saw Neil watching them, too. And then Neil would look at Aaron and raise an eyebrow as if to ask him what was going on, and Aaron would scowl and resist the urge to flip Neil off. He didn’t  _ know  _ what was going on. 

But then, the day he saw Kevin and Matt leave the library together, flushed and bright-eyed, he knew. 

And it  _ hurt.  _

He didn’t expect it to. He hated that it did. But his chest hurt when it came to him. He waited hours to come back home that night, until Matt was asleep. And the next day at practice, Aaron didn’t say anything to either of them. 

So they’d decided to forget about him and be with each other. That’s what it looked like.

Well, then, fine. Fuck them. They could be together. Aaron didn’t need either of them. 

( _ But you want them,  _ a little voice whispered in the back of his head. Aaron pushed that voice down and strangled it). 

He tried to move on. 

“What the fuck crawled up your ass and died?” Allison demanded when Aaron shoved her a little too hard at practice. 

Nicky looked at him with concern. “Are you okay?”

Andrew watched him, silently and observantly. Neil watched Andrew watch Aaron, and then he watched Aaron, too. Kevin and Matt looked at him with worry in their eyes, such overwhelming worry that it only made Aaron angrier. He didn’t need their worry. They had each other now, so they could stop focusing on him. They could stop confusing the fuck out of him.  _ Complications,  _ Aaron kept telling himself over and over again. No more of those. He’d sworn to himself.

“You’re jealous,” Andrew said to him one night when Aaron was slamming back shots at Eden’s. The upperclassmen had come along this time, at Neil’s behest, and Aaron had wanted to stay home, but Nicky wouldn’t let him. 

Kevin and Matt were out on the dance floor. Aaron was refusing to look in their direction. He was waiting until the world went blurry and tilted. 

Aaron pretended not to know what his brother was talking about. It was the first time Andrew had spoken to him in a while - the progression of their relationship since they broke off their deal had been a very,  _ very  _ slow incline, but Andrew had started talking to him again after he and Katelyn broke up. It was still weird to Aaron, still a little awkward between them, but he grasped at any shreds of a relationship Andrew was willing to give him. 

Now, though, he was in favor of pretending Andrew didn’t exist. He didn’t need his brother’s input on this. 

Andrew shrugged and said, “Make yourself miserable then, if you want to.” He turned to Neil, who had been clinging to Andrew (he’d had a few to drink, which surprised everyone), and indulged him with a kiss that made Aaron grimace. He threw back another shot when Neil made a sound Aaron wished he would never hear again in his life. 

Andrew tugged Neil towards the dance floor. Aaron finally looked out into the crowd. He could see Kevin and Matt’s heads easily above everyone else’s - they were so damn tall. They were off to the side, not dancing with each other, but leaning in close and talking. Dan, Renee, and Allison were close by. Aaron wondered, not for the first time, what Dan thought of . . . whatever was going on between her ex and Kevin. Kevin was laughing. Matt was grinning. They weren’t touching enough for it to be obvious, but Aaron knew. He could see it. He was mad that Andrew had apparently seen it too, and had deigned to bring it up.

Nicky appeared at the table, patting Aaron on the back. “Hey. You good?”

“I’m leaving,” Aaron said, wobbling a little on his feet as he jumped down from his bar stool. Nicky’s face fell. 

“Wait, let me - ” He reached out a hand to help his cousin, but Aaron waved him away. 

“I’ll get an Uber back to the dorms.” He ignored Nicky trying to call him back and pushed his way through the crowd, out into the cool night air. 

He called a car and tried to think about nothing at all until he got back to Fox Tower, where he decided to sleep on the couch instead of in his and Matt’s room. 

 

*

 

It lasted for a little over a month before Kevin started to notice it falling apart. 

It wasn’t either of their faults. Kevin thought he might have loved Matt. And he thought Matt might have loved him back. 

But then Aaron stopped talking to them. 

Just . . . iced them out. 

Even Matt, his roommate, which seemed impossible since they lived together. But Aaron did it. He never spoke to Matt when Matt spoke to him. Hardly acknowledged his presence. Never spoke to Kevin, on the court or off. 

And Kevin and Matt just didn’t know  _ why.  _

They tried to make it work between the two of them. Kevin tried, and he could see Matt trying, too. But it just wasn’t . . . enough. It wasn’t whole. Aaron’s inexplicably cold treatment of them made them both start to spiral. 

“I want this to work,” Matt said to Kevin quietly as they sat alone in a quiet corner of campus they’d found. “I don’t want to - just because Aaron won’t - ” He stopped and sighed, and the look on his face made Kevin look away. He couldn’t take it. 

“I want it to work, too,” he said. There was pain in his chest when he said, “I just don’t know if it can.” It was different when Aaron had still been speaking to them. When he had still smiled when he thought they weren’t looking. Without that, Kevin felt empty. He  _ wanted  _ Matt to be enough to fill the void. He wished Matt could be enough. And Matt wished he could be enough for Kevin, too. But wishing for something could only do so much.

They tried. They really did. 

It just didn’t work.

It started when Kevin reached for a bottle again for the first time since Riko died. He found it on the top shelf of the cabinet in his dorm. Andrew and Neil had been hiding it from him. Kevin took it and went to the court, where Coach caught him and made him sit in the office. He watched Kevin drink a quarter of the contents before he took the bottle away. 

“I don’t know what’s going on,” Wymack said slowly. “But I can guess. Matt?”

Kevin closed his eyes. He’d never talked about things like this with his f - with Wymack before. He still wasn’t used to calling Coach his father. 

But if he was going to start, he might as well start with all of it. 

“And Aaron,” he said miserably. Wymack’s eyes widened. He sat back in his chair, rubbing his chin. 

“Huh. Now, I figured something was going on with Matt. You seemed happier. You started being all buddy-buddy with him when you’d never given half a shit about him before except for how he played. But Aaron . . .” Coach shook his head. “That one’s a surprise.”

Kevin sighed. “Me and Matt, we both . . .” Kevin couldn’t look at Wymack, didn’t know how to say this to him. He closed his eyes and barreled on, liquid courage making it easier. “We’re both into him. But it doesn’t look like he’s into us. So we decided to start hooking up. But then Aaron just iced us out.”

“I picked up on that,” Wymack said, nodding slowly. “Didn’t think it had anything to do with you and Boyd, though.”

Kevin put his face in his hands, leaning forward in his chair. He heaved a sigh that made his chest shake, and he felt fragile. 

“We ended it yesterday,” Kevin whispered. “Me and Matt. It just wasn’t working anymore. Aaron, he - ” He stopped and shook his head, throat closing up. Kevin breathed through it and refused to cry. The last time he’d cried, it was over Riko’s death, and Aaron and Matt had held him, comforted him. 

It hadn’t been an angry breakup. There hadn’t been a fight or harsh words. It was just . . . sad. Painful. Kevin couldn’t take the way Matt looked at him, and Matt couldn’t stand the look on Kevin’s face, either. Kevin had walked out of the room and tried to breathe over the lump obstructing his throat. He’d gone to the court and buried his sorrows in the sound of an Exy ball slamming hard off the court walls. Then, he’d drowned them in alcohol. 

He didn’t know what Matt had done. 

And now he was here, in front of his father, telling him the details of his complicated love life. The last time they’d had a conversation this serious, it was when Kevin was telling Coach that he was his son. It had been months, but they were taking baby steps with each other, and this was ten steps above where they currently were. 

Kevin felt a hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head up to see Wymack standing there, looking down at him with a pinched expression on his face. 

“I hate seeing you like this, kid,” Wymack said roughly. He cleared his throat. “Look, I’m no good at this stuff, but - Matt. You think you love him?”

Kevin had to take a few breaths before he said, “Yeah. I think I do.”  _ Love.  _ He didn’t really even know what love was. He’d never had a good example of it, except from his mother, but his memories of her were hazy at best. But the way Matt made him feel, the way he felt about Aaron . . . it was something. It had to be something.

Wymack almost smiled, but Kevin saw him hold it back. “And you both love Aaron?”

Kevin nodded. Wymack sighed and sat on the edge of his desk. “Then it seems pretty simple to me. Just tell him how you feel. Both of you.”

Kevin almost laughed. He leaned his head back towards the ceiling, slouching in his chair, the vodka making him feel heavy. He sighed. 

“What if Aaron says no?” he asked, his voice so quiet in the room. That had been the fear that had plagued Matt and Kevin for months, and that was the crux of this whole thing, wasn’t it? They’d both wanted Aaron; the fear of Aaron’s rejection had driven them together because they’d both decided that if they couldn’t have him, it would be nice to at least have each other; then Aaron’s rejection had been exactly what had driven them apart. 

“Then he says no,” Wymack said, shrugging. “But he might say yes. It’s about taking that chance, Kevin.”

Kevin thought about it. 

“Tell him how I feel,” he murmured. It was a terrifying prospect. But still, even still, it was a hopeful one. Because no matter how hard he tried, Kevin couldn’t get rid of his feelings, and he couldn’t get rid of the faint glimmer of hope that said maybe Aaron might love him back. Might love them both. 

Kevin took a deep breath. He sat up, and Wymack watched him, eyes steadily on his son. 

“Thanks,” Kevin said quietly. Wymack nodded. 

“I know we haven’t exactly been - bonding,” Wymack said, clearing his throat. He looked away now, crossing his tattooed arms over his chest. “But if you need to talk about this stuff, you know, your life - I’m here.”

Kevin nodded, and suddenly his chest felt tight. “I know. Thanks for that, too.”

Wymack looked vaguely uncomfortable, and Kevin almost smiled. “You’re welcome. Now get out of here. I’m keeping this.” Wymack snatched the bottle of vodka out of Kevin’s reach. “Tell Minyard and Josten not to keep it in the room. They know better than to leave it where you can get to it.”

Kevin sighed. “Yeah.” He shook his head, angry with himself. “I was almost six months sober.” It was winter now, the first winter after Riko’s death. 

“Hey,” Wymack said gruffly. His eyes were hard and fierce. “Don’t blame yourself. We all relapse sometimes. Doesn’t mean you can’t get right back on the wagon.”

“Right,” Kevin said. He stood up, and he didn’t wobble on his feet. His legs were steady. His heart was beating too fast, but that was just because of the thought of what he was about to do . . . when he worked up the courage to do it, anyway. It might take him a few days. “Thanks, Coach.”

“Sure,” Coach said, watching Kevin as he walked to the door. “Good luck.”

Kevin thought he was going to need it. 

 

*

 

“Tell me why you’re so miserable,” Neil said to Matt, running beside him on one of the treadmills at the gym. Matt and Kevin had broken up yesterday, and Matt wanted to work out his feelings by working out. He hadn’t asked Neil to come to the gym with him, but Neil had caught him on his way out of the dorms, took one look at Matt’s face, and invited himself along. Matt couldn’t say no to him. 

When Matt sighed, Neil said, “I think I already know anyway, but I want to hear you say it.”

“Since when are you the advocate for talking about your feelings?” Matt shot back at him, which earned him a flat look. “I know you still won’t talk to Betsy.”

Neil grimaced, and the scars on his face stretched when his mouth turned down. Matt still hated the sight of those scars. Not that they were ugly or anything, but he just didn’t like to be reminded of what Neil had gone through. “That has nothing to do with this. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I promise it won’t affect my playing,” Matt said dryly. Neil gave him another dirty look. 

“Matt. You’re my friend. I don’t like seeing you this way regardless.”

Matt stopped running, turning the speed down on his machine until the treadmill stopped. Neil did the same. His auburn hair was pushed back with his favorite orange bandana, and he wore the Fox workout gear that every member of the team was supplied with. It’s all he ever wore to the gym. Matt was just wearing black running shorts and a gray t-shirt. He’d brought a towel with him, and he wiped the sweat off his face and the back of his neck before he said anything. Neil waited patiently for him to speak, taking a sip from his water bottle and watching Matt with clear blue eyes. 

Andrew was somewhere behind them on the seated shoulder press machine. Matt wasn’t surprised that he’d tagged along; when Neil came out of Fox Tower, Andrew was with him, dressed in black workout gear and his armbands. Matt had just shrugged and given them a lift in his truck. 

Matt saw Neil’s eyes wandering, as they usually always did, to Andrew. Matt smiled. Neil and Andrew never really flaunted their relationship, but they weren’t exactly subtle, either, and it was always nice to catch Neil in those moments. Matt was happy for him. For them both, really. 

“Andrew already knows something’s going on,” Neil said, eyes hungrily watching Andrew’s muscles move as he lifted the weights on the machine. Matt almost choked. 

“What?”

Neil tore his eyes away from his boyfriend and said, “He knew something was going on when Aaron started acting weird. Maybe even before that.”

“Acting weird how?” Matt asked, because ‘weird’ was different than the chilling coldness he’d been faced with over the last few weeks. 

Neil shrugged and leaned against the arm of his treadmill. “Months ago, after he first moved in with you and then he started getting these looks on his face whenever you or Kevin did something nice for him.”

Matt had seen those looks before. Part confused, part annoyed, part fond. The confused and annoyed parts were the biggest, and the fondness was always just barely there, hidden underneath. Matt didn’t think Aaron even knew he was doing it. 

“And he’s not mad?” Matt asked in disbelief. Not terror - he hadn’t been scared of Andrew since Andrew had helped get him sober - but he knew about the deal between the brothers, and it was hard for him to believe Andrew would be okay with this. With Matt’s feelings for Aaron. “Andrew, I mean.” 

Neil shrugged. “I don’t know, ask him.” He turned his head and called out, “Andrew, are you mad?” 

Matt wanted to slap Neil with his towel, but he didn’t think that would be a very good idea when Andrew was getting up and walking over to them. 

Andrew leaned against Neil’s treadmill and stole his water bottle, taking a sip. Neil watched him do it, his eyes glittering. Andrew’s eyes were on Matt, steady and unmoving. Matt kind of wanted to look away, but he forced himself not to. He raised his chin. 

“You love him?” Andrew finally asked. “And I don’t mean Day. That’s already obvious. Kevin isn’t as good at hiding as he thinks he is.”

“I’m sorry, Andrew - ” Matt started to say, but Andrew held up a hand and cut him off. 

“Do. You. Love. Him.” Each word was punctuated sharply, and his hazel eyes were just as sharp. Not dangerous, but a warning. 

“Yes,” Matt said quietly, his chest fluttering with the truth of it, still. He loved Aaron. He couldn’t stop, even though it hurt. He loved Kevin, too. 

“ _ Why _ ?” Neil asked, sounding appalled. Without looking at him, Andrew reached up and put a hand over his mouth. Neil rolled his eyes. 

Matt sighed. Andrew said, “My brother is an idiot. But if you break his heart, I will kill you.”

“He - ” Matt started to say that Aaron had already broken  _ his _ heart, the way he’d been treating Matt lately, ignoring him like he didn’t exist, but Andrew cut him off again. 

“Don’t you be an idiot, too,” he said. 

Neil removed Andrew’s hand from his mouth. “If you really feel that way - ” He paused to shudder, and it was Andrew’s turn to roll his eyes, “even if I don’t understand why, then tell him how you feel. Fix things with Kevin, and the both of you confront Aaron. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from dating Andrew, it’s that Minyards need to be told that it’s real. Convince Aaron it’s real.”

“We are not dating,” Andrew said flatly, heading back to his machine. Neil smirked at Matt.

“See?” he said. Matt chuckled. Neil called back to Andrew, “You took me out to dinner two nights ago.”

“You don’t know how to feed yourself,” Andrew called back. 

“Coming from the man who eats ice cream and junk food all the time.”

Andrew ignored that. Neil smiled, which made Matt smile. When Neil looked at Matt again, he sighed. “Just tell him how you feel, Matt. If it works out, then I’m happy for you. If it doesn’t, I’ll be here. Either way, you won’t know until you try.”

Matt supposed he was right. There was really nothing left to lose, anyway. That didn’t mean he wasn’t still terrified. There was still that possibility - what if Aaron didn’t want him that way? Didn’t want either of them?

But a part of him shoved that thought away, because he had  _ seen _ the looks Aaron gave him before. He’d seen the looks Aaron gave them both. There was something there. There had to be.

“Andrew wants to talk to Kevin next,” Neil said, starting up his treadmill again. He never got tired of running. “So I’d give it a few days. But don’t worry. It’ll work out.”

Matt wanted it to. He really, really wanted it to. It had only been a day, but God, he missed Kevin so much already, and he missed Aaron enormously, even when Aaron was right there in the room with him. He’d do anything just to have Aaron look at him again, and to be able to look at Kevin without hurting. 

“Thanks, Neil,” Matt said quietly, his voice a little hoarse. Neil gave him a gentle smile. 

“Sure. It has to work out, because if it doesn’t, you know we’ll start to play like shit on the court. And then I’ll kill all three of you if you make us break our winning streak.”

Matt laughed, head thrown back. “There it is. What happened to wanting to help me because I’m your friend, huh?” 

But he started up his treadmill again when Neil grinned at him, and this time, he felt almost hopeful. 

 

*

 

Kevin knew, rationally, that Andrew would corner him about all this at some point. He was honestly surprised it had taken this long. Kevin  _ knew  _ Andrew noticed what was going on with him, but he took the coward’s way out and pretended he didn’t. Kevin ignored the steady looks Andrew gave him and the caustic quips Andrew threw out every now and then, when he would watch Kevin carefully to get a reaction out of him. Kevin ignored Neil’s scrutinizing looks, too. 

But he knew he wouldn’t be able to avoid a confrontation with Andrew forever. Andrew knew him, after all. That hadn’t changed. Neil knew him, too. They were, arguably, the two people who knew Kevin better than anyone. He should’ve known he wouldn’t be able to hide from them.

The day after Kevin’s conversation with Wymack, Andrew and Neil caught Kevin alone in the dorms. Kevin’s fight-or-flight response kicked in, but he forced himself to stay where he was in the living room. He faced Neil and Andrew with what he hoped was an undaunted expression.

Andrew just stared at him for a minute, Neil beside him leaning against the kitchen counter. Kevin wanted to say something, defend himself, but something stopped him. It was best to wait for Andrew to speak first. 

“I will tell you the same thing I told Matt,” Andrew finally said, his voice steady and even. Kevin’s eyes widened. 

“You talked to Matt? How is he?” The question came out of his mouth before he could stop it, and he didn’t miss Neil’s slightly satisfied smile. Kevin hadn’t seen Matt since they broke it off, and it hadn’t been that long, but his heart ached all the same.

Andrew raised an eyebrow. He pushed off from where he stood in the kitchen and moved to the window, and for a moment Kevin thought Andrew was going to grab him and threaten him or hit him, but Andrew only sidestepped him on his way to the window. He sat on the sill to smoke. A moment later, Neil joined him. Kevin waited, watching as they shared their customary cigarette. He only just stopped himself from reminding them that they shouldn’t smoke if they expected to go pro later in life. 

Neil smirked at him as if he knew what Kevin was thinking, which he probably did. Andrew took a drag and blew the smoke out before he spoke again. 

“I told Matt that Aaron was an idiot. Which is true. But if he breaks my brother’s heart, I will kill him. For you, though,” Andrew said, eyes moving back to Kevin’s face. “For you, if you hurt him, it will be so much worse.”

“I - ” Kevin started to say, but he stopped when Neil gave him a warning look. 

“Exy is your world,” Andrew continued, sounding almost bored, though Kevin knew he was deadly serious, “but if you cannot make Aaron your world, if you cannot put Aaron before Exy, don’t even bother.”

Kevin opened his mouth to protest - Exy had to be his world if he wanted to survive - but he stopped himself again. That hadn’t really been true for a while, had it? With Riko dead, Kevin had no competition. That didn’t mean he had started slacking, but he no longer had to spend so much time focusing and worrying about whether or not he was going to end up dead because he wasn’t proving his worth. He was simply the best, and he didn’t have to put forth any herculean amounts of effort to prove that on the court. He just was. 

Neil was looking at him, and when Kevin looked back, Neil nodded, following his train of thought. There was a half-smile on his face, proud though it was small. 

Andrew’s eyes had never left Kevin, and when Kevin met his gaze again, he didn’t waver. 

“Okay,” he said, his heart thundering in his chest. “But he won’t talk to me. Or Matt.”

Now Andrew rolled his eyes, making a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. “As I said. My brother is an idiot.”

“I’ll give you the advice I gave to Matt,” Neil said, stealing the cigarette from Andrew and stubbing it out. “Convince Aaron it’s real. I still have to tell Andrew every day.”

Andrew gave Neil a look as he hopped off the windowsill. Neil just grinned. 

Convince Aaron it was real. Kevin thought about what his father had told him. Tell Aaron how he felt. Tell him how he felt, and convince him his feelings were real. After that, if Aaron still said no, that would have to be it. Kevin’s chest shook with the weight of it. 

As Neil began to follow Andrew, Kevin managed to say, “Wymack says not to leave alcohol in the room anymore.”

“Shit.” Neil’s face fell, and before he even looked at Andrew, Andrew was already reaching for the cabinet where they used to keep the bottle. When he saw it was gone, he turned back to Kevin, his face carefully blank but his body language tense.

“It’s okay,” Kevin assured him, shoving his hands in his pockets. “I didn’t - I went to see him, Coach, I mean, before I drank too much.”

“Still,” Neil said quietly, sounding sorry. “You were almost six months sober.”

Kevin shrugged. “I didn’t go overboard. I’m still good.”

“It was Nicky’s bottle,” Andrew said through his teeth. 

“Don’t beat him up over it,” Kevin said. “It’s f - ” He caught himself just before he said the f-word, Neil’s favorite and Andrew’s least favorite. “Like I said, I’m okay. I wasn’t anywhere close to slurring my words last night. Just needed something.” Something to make him forget about Matt and Aaron. To make him forget about how much it hurt. 

But he couldn’t do that anymore. He had to fix things. He remembered what Wymack had told him - it was about taking the chance. 

“We’ll tell Nicky not to leave any more around,” Neil said softly. When Kevin nodded, he smiled. 

“Thanks.” He took a deep breath and looked back at Andrew. “I wouldn’t ever hurt him, you know. Not intentionally. I’ll fix things.” The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt Aaron, and if he had, he would spend the rest of his life trying to make up for that. All he wanted to do was protect Aaron. Keep him safe. Kevin knew what Aaron had been through in his life, and he wanted to make sure Aaron never suffered hardship again.

Andrew nodded. “Don’t wait.” Then he grabbed the hem of Neil’s shirt and pulled him towards the bedroom. Kevin heard Neil’s giggle before the door closed. 

And then he was left alone, trying to work up the courage to tell the boys he loved that he loved them. 


	3. Chapter 3

Matt got to Kevin first.

In the two days since they’d broken up, Matt had only seen Kevin once or twice (it was during the school week, and there was no game for the Foxes until next week and therefore no practice until the weekend), but the look on Kevin’s face when Matt passed him broke Matt’s heart. The dead look in his eyes, the slump of his shoulders - it had almost seemed like Kevin was giving up. 

(And maybe, for just a minute in the beginning after Kevin and Matt broke up and Kevin reached for the bottle, Kevin  _ had  _ felt like giving up. He would love Aaron for the rest of his life, and he would probably never get over Matt, either, but there was nothing he could do about it. That is until Wymack, Andrew and Neil talked to him.)

Matt didn’t know that Kevin had just been about to ask if they could talk when Matt knocked on the door of his room. 

Before Kevin could say anything, Matt said, “I miss you. I can’t do this anymore. I want to be with you, and I think we should tell Aaron how we feel.” He let it all out on one breath, and he sucked in another one when he finished. 

Kevin knew it might not work out. He knew that Aaron might say no. He’d been stewing over it all night, keeping himself up until the early hours of the morning. But he wanted to try. He  _ needed  _ to try, needed to know if there was even a possibility of Aaron loving them back. 

And if he didn’t . . . maybe that would be okay after all. Because Kevin had Matt. 

He pulled Matt into the room by the shirt and kissed him, throwing his arms around his neck. Matt’s arms wound around Kevin’s waist as he kicked the door shut behind them. Andrew and Neil must not have been home, and Matt was grateful for that, because the next thing he knew he and Kevin were in the bedroom. 

“I missed you, too,” Kevin gasped out between kisses, his hands lifting Matt’s shirt over his head. “I’m sorry - ”

“It’s okay,” Matt whispered, fingers tracing Kevin’s tattoo reverently. “It’s okay, baby, I know.”

And then Kevin was on all fours, and Matt was sliding into him. Kevin threw his head back and moaned, “God, I missed you, I missed this.” And he had, so, so much, even if it hadn’t been that long. He’d missed the feeling of Matt, the security Kevin felt with him. The safety and the comfort.

“I love you,” Matt said as he thrust into Kevin, as he bent over and took Kevin’s earlobe between his teeth, and he hadn’t meant to say it but now it was too late, there was no taking it back. And it was true, anyway. 

“Fuck,” Kevin trembled underneath him, pushing back against Matt’s thrusts. “I love you, too.” He hadn’t ever said that to anyone before. The world didn’t end, but it did feel like the ground shook beneath him. 

Maybe Kevin still didn’t really know what love was, but he thought he might have an idea. And he was learning. 

Afterwards, they lay together in bed as Matt ran his hand gently through Kevin’s hair. Kevin’s head rested on his chest, and his fingers traced idle patterns on Matt’s skin. 

“So,” Matt said quietly. 

“So,” Kevin said, feeling light and hopeful and almost near to happy. 

Matt kissed his temple and murmured, “How do we tell Aaron?”

 

*

 

Aaron trudged home from class, his legs a weight that dragged him down. He’d felt much the same way for the last month. His head and his heart felt numb, too. He’d been ignoring his teammates, ignoring Katelyn (who had noticed Aaron in the class they shared, and knew something was wrong with him), ignoring his family. Andrew didn’t speak to him, only gave him looks that made Aaron want to throw a punch at him. But Nicky spoke to him. Nicky asked concerned questions, and it took everything Aaron had in him not to blow up and start yelling at his cousin. He didn’t deserve that. 

So Aaron stayed silent and cold. He went out of his way to avoid Matt in the dorms, and eventually, Matt stopped trying to get his attention. 

Kevin looked at Aaron like a wounded animal, and Aaron couldn’t take it. So he just never looked at Kevin anymore. 

He went up the stairs at Fox Tower, a heavy weight on his shoulders and chest making him feel exhausted. Aaron had a routine he’d been following every day - he got up, went to classes, went to the library or somewhere else to study and do his homework, went home, went to bed. He didn’t socialize, not with the Foxes and not with Katelyn or the friends they used to have. His life was numbing and repetitive. Empty. In his head, Aaron had started counting down the days until graduation. 

When he walked into his dorm, Kevin and Matt were on the couch in the living room. 

They were holding hands. 

Aaron stopped, his chest pinched tight. It was obvious that Matt and Kevin were together again. He’d noticed they’d stopped spending time together in the last few days, but that didn’t change anything. Aaron still avoided them. If Aaron was depressed and miserable, it had been a small comfort to know that Matt and Kevin were depressed and miserable, too. 

But now here they were again, happy as could be. Aaron didn’t know what to think or feel. 

“Sorry,” he said gruffly. He turned around to leave the room again. 

“Aaron, no, wait.” Kevin stood up from the couch, and the words made Aaron pause. He hated that they did. He wished he could leave. But the tone of Kevin’s voice stopped him where he was. “Please.” 

Aaron closed his eyes, his hand on the doorknob. 

He heard Matt stand from the couch, too. Matt stood next to Kevin, hands in his pockets. When Aaron finally turned back around, slowly, he saw that they both looked nervous. And that made nerves crawl under Aaron’s skin, too. He didn’t know what was going on, what they wanted. They had each other. They didn’t need him. He wished they would stop bothering him. He wished they would let him go. 

_ No, you don’t,  _ that little voice whispered in Aaron’s head. He grit his teeth.

Aaron had never been one for blurting out his feelings, and he didn’t know what to say, anyway. So he said nothing. 

Kevin and Matt exchanged a look. They squeezed each other’s hands. Aaron’s heart hurt. 

When Kevin looked back at Aaron, his eyes were wet. But they were fierce and determined, the same way they were on the court. “We’re both in love with you.”

Aaron suddenly couldn’t breathe. Kevin had just . . . he’d just thrown it out there like that, so frank and final. 

“We’ve been in love with you for a long time,” Matt said, his voice soft, gentle. 

“You don’t have to feel the same way,” Kevin said, his shoulders falling a little. He squeezed Matt’s hand harder. “But we want you, Aaron. So fucking badly it hurts. We want to be with you.”

Aaron almost choked. He fell back against the door, his throat closing up. 

“Both of us,” Matt said earnestly. “So much.” They looked at him, watching him, waiting, and Aaron couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think, couldn’t speak. He didn’t dare move. 

They loved him. They loved him? 

Aaron’s thoughts ran wild, but in the middle of the tornado, one rational thought stuck out: they  _ loved  _ him. And suddenly a lot of things made a lot of sense. 

That was the reason for the looks in the past, the smiles, the nice things they always did for him. 

And maybe Aaron . . . maybe the reason he’d been feeling this way for the past month, the reason he’d always felt so strange whenever Kevin and Matt treated him the way they did, maybe it was because . . .

_ Complications, complications, complications,  _ his mind sang, and he shook his head. He didn’t understand this. He didn’t understand why Kevin and Matt felt the way they did, or why he was suddenly feeling things now, too. Aaron had no idea what love was. Katelyn had shown him glimmers of it, but Aaron didn’t consider himself an expert, and it was still almost a foreign concept to him. 

Kevin and Matt looked at each other. They must have decided something silently between them, because then Kevin moved forward slowly, cautiously, like he was cornering a wild animal. 

He stopped in front of Aaron and raised his hand to touch Aaron’s cheek. Aaron didn’t move. He closed his eyes when Kevin touched him, and his stomach bottomed out. He trembled. 

“Say something,” Kevin whispered. “Please.”

“I . . .” Aaron started, but the words got caught in his throat. 

“Do you need time?” Matt asked, and when Aaron opened his eyes, Matt was suddenly there beside them. “If you need time to think, or just for whatever, that’s okay. We can give you as much time as you need. Just know that we’re here for you, Aaron. We will always be here for you.”

Aaron had never heard anyone say that to him before. Katelyn had implied it, and she’d told him she loved him before, but those exact words, in that exact way, had never reached Aaron’s ears in his life. He didn’t know what to do with that. 

But having both Matt and Kevin right there, surrounding him, so  _ big  _ and he was so small, staring at him with something that looked like love and devotion in their eyes was enough to make him say, “Okay.”

Kevin and Matt paused. They looked at each other, and then back at Aaron. 

“Okay?” Kevin repeated, so quietly, his words no more than a breath, those striking green eyes desperately hopeful. He still stroked Aaron’s cheek, thumb brushing under his eye, and Aaron’s heart was in his throat. 

“Okay,” Aaron said again, the word coming out strangled. “I want . . .” He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.  _ Make yourself miserable, if you want to.  _ Andrew’s words. Andrew would’ve called him a coward. An idiot. Aaron tried to breathe through the lump in his throat. “I want to be with you, too. Both of you.”

And there it was. He’d been denying it for months, for almost a year, even, and he had no idea what he was doing, really, but that was it. It was said. 

Kevin stood there and absorbed the words for a few minutes. He could hardly believe this was real, that it was happening, that Aaron had just said that to them. And then an overwhelming fountain of joy and  _ relief _ flooded his chest, and he couldn’t stop himself from grinning so wide his face almost cracked. He wrapped his arms around Aaron’s waist and picked him up and kissed him, and God, he felt so perfect in Kevin’s arms, so right. He didn’t want to put Aaron down, ever. He wanted Aaron in his arms for the rest of his life. 

Kevin kissed him, sweetly and soft, lips brushing Aaron’s, tongue caressing his. Aaron made a little noise of surprised pleasure that made Kevin hold him tighter. He tasted so good, and he was so beautiful. Kevin cradled him and held him carefully, like Aaron was something precious. He felt like he was dreaming. 

Kevin only put Aaron down when he remembered Matt, but he kept hold of one of Aaron’s hands. Matt leaned in slowly, more cautiously than Kevin had done, and when Aaron nodded, Matt kissed him, gently and tenderly, cupping his face. He breathed unsteadily against Aaron’s mouth, and his hands shook a little.

And then they were both on either side of Aaron, touching him, caressing him, both kissing him in different places at once. Overwhelmed, Aaron tried to wrap his arms around both of them as he was caught up in the moment. He still didn’t really know what was happening, but he knew he didn’t want it to stop. He could admit that much to himself, at least. He knew he wanted this. At least once.

When Kevin and Matt both pulled back and looked at him with a hesitant but hopeful question in their eyes, Aaron nodded and whispered, “Yes. Yeah. Okay.” And Matt picked him up and carried him to the bedroom. Kevin followed closely behind, eyes on Aaron. 

Aaron didn’t know what exactly it was about being carried by Matt, but God he felt so  _ safe _ and protected. He’d felt the same way when Kevin lifted him up to kiss him. And that  _ kiss _ had been . . . Aaron still trembled from it, still felt it on his buzzing lips.

In the bedroom, Matt laid Aaron on the bed. 

Aaron felt so delicate. He felt like he might break at the slightest touch. 

Both boys above him moved slowly as first Matt then Kevin laid down on either side of him. The bed wasn’t quite big enough, but they squeezed together. They kissed his neck and his face, and Aaron was sandwiched tight between them while they rubbed their hands over his body. 

“I’ve wanted to touch you like this for so long,” Kevin whispered in his ear, lips trailing along his jaw. Aaron shivered. 

“Me too,” Matt whispered on his other side. “God, Aaron, you have no idea how much I wanted to touch you.” His hand rubbed softly over Aaron’s belly, and it felt so warm and nice. Aaron felt a tingle start in his spine that went down into his groin, and he started to get hard when Kevin’s tongue traced along the shell of his ear, when Kevin’s fingers brushed over his nipple over his shirt. 

Aaron didn’t speak. If he spoke, he was afraid he might ruin it, and if he ruined it, he thought he might never have this again. He hadn’t felt so alive in months. 

He knew Matt and Kevin had been together before, but he didn’t know what to do now that he was with them. He didn’t know where he should touch, who he should hold. 

But it seemed like Matt and Kevin knew what they were doing. (They had pictured this moment a hundred times before. They had even gotten off to it together, though they felt too guilty afterwards to ever do it again. But there were still dreams and fantasies they couldn’t help but have.) Aaron could tell that they had something in mind, so he let them guide it, his stomach fluttering and his entire body sensitive to their touches. 

Aaron might have pictured this moment too, more than a few times. In the shower, he’d jerked off once or twice to the thought of Kevin and Matt like this. 

But it was nothing compared to the real thing. 

Matt took his shirt off, and then Kevin’s was gone too. They both paused, looking at Aaron with another question in their eyes. After a breath, Aaron took his shirt off. 

Matt smiled at him. He looked at him for a moment, and Aaron felt Kevin looking at him too, eyes running over his body. For a moment, he felt self-conscious. He’d never really had a reason to feel embarrassed of his body - Katelyn had never had any complaints, anyway - but this was different.  _ They  _ were different.

“You’re so beautiful,” Matt whispered, and he didn’t give Aaron any time to react before he bent down to take Aaron’s nipple into his mouth. 

Kevin swallowed Aaron’s soft cry as he turned his face and slid his tongue into Aaron’s mouth, his thumb rubbing gently over Aaron’s other nipple. Aaron grabbed at him, his hands clutching at Kevin’s shoulders. He shivered under their touches and caresses, Matt’s tongue swirling around his nipple and Matt’s hand still on his belly, Kevin’s tongue against his and Kevin’s thumb slowly rubbing his other nipple. Aaron felt so warm between the two of them caging him in, and they touched him so gently that it made his heart hurt. 

Kevin took his pants off first. He reached down to take his cock out, already fully hard from just kissing Aaron. He’d been dreaming about this for months. Forever. 

Matt followed Kevin’s lead, stripping down to his boxers. Then Aaron was the only one left with pants on, so he took them off quickly and let Kevin and Matt put their free hands on him. They ran their hands down his chest and over his underwear, and they both rubbed him slowly over his briefs until they could feel Aaron getting wetter and wetter. 

Aaron was dripping for them, and he couldn’t stop the moans that poured from his mouth. It felt too good. 

Every few minutes, Kevin or Matt would lift their head to watch Aaron, to make sure he wasn’t changing his mind. If he gave them any sign he wanted to stop, they would have immediately. But they saw nothing. No hesitation. They looked at each other over Aaron’s head, and Kevin could see that Matt could hardly believe this was happening. Matt could see that Kevin felt like he was dreaming. They kissed each other once, briefly. 

Aaron noticed them checking on him, and he could feel their caution, their wariness, but he wouldn’t change his mind. He couldn’t. He knew there was no coming back from this now. 

To prove it, he took off his underwear and spread his legs, offering himself up to Matt and Kevin, putting himself on display. He blushed, but he wasn’t shy. 

Matt and Kevin looked blown away. They both stopped and took a breath, eyes wide, pupils blown. 

Kevin thought Aaron was so fucking beautiful, especially when he had his legs spread like that, knees up, cock hard and red, face full of heat and determination. 

Matt thought Aaron was gorgeous, so pretty with his cock dripping for them, moaning softly, silently begging them without words to keep touching him. 

“Baby,” Kevin murmured against Aaron’s neck, and it was such a small, desperate whisper that Aaron’s breath left him again for the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes.

Then Kevin’s hand was on his dick, and Matt was biting his earlobe and whispering, “I’ve dreamt about this for so long, Aaron.” Matt’s hand joined Kevin’s on Aaron’s cock, and they stroked him together, slowly. 

Aaron arched his back and moaned as Matt nosed along his jaw and Kevin ran his other hand through Aaron’s hair, kissing the side of his mouth, over and over again. 

All Aaron knew was that he really wanted to kiss both of them at the same time. 

He tried, desperately, but it just ended up being silly. And then he laughed. It was a surprising sound, and none of them had heard it from him in months. But Matt and Kevin were just so  _ happy  _ to hear him laugh that they laughed too. 

Aaron decided the best thing to do was to take turns kissing them, one after the other. That’s what he did while they kept stroking him. He didn’t compare them, didn’t think about how Matt’s kisses felt in contrast to Kevin’s. It didn’t matter. They were both mind-blowing, both so soft, so good, so perfect. Their hands felt so  _ good  _ on him, and somehow they knew  _ exactly  _ what Aaron liked, they knew exactly what to do to drive him crazy with pleasure. 

Matt tugged on Aaron’s balls, and Kevin rubbed his thumb over Aaron’s slit, spreading the pre-come around, making him wetter. He ran his finger underneath the crown of Aaron’s cock, and Matt’s hand moved lower until it found Aaron’s hole, circling the rim lightly with one finger. Aaron cried out and arched up again, grabbing onto them both. 

The thought flitted through his head that he wanted to make them feel good, too, so he reached out to either side of him. He took Matt in one hand and Kevin in the other, and he stroked them both at the same time. 

And  _ this.  _ This was exactly how Kevin and Matt had pictured it. Just like this.

“Fuck,” Aaron moaned, his head thrown back as Kevin and Matt’s hands worked him over. The sensation of two hands at once, of both of them together, was enough to make him half-delirious, and he felt his orgasm building, building, building. “I can’t hold it,” he cried. “Fuck, I’m gonna come.”

“It’s okay,” Kevin whispered on one side, kissing him softly. “Come, baby, let it go.”

“Come for us,” Matt whispered on his other side, a finger still circling Aaron’s rim. “We’ve got you, sweetheart.”

And they did, they did have him. They held him as Aaron came, spurting onto his stomach and chest and their hands. He felt so  _ treasured  _ between them, so taken care of. No one had ever been there to take care of him before. Not like this. 

Aaron managed to keep stroking Matt and Kevin through his own orgasm, and he didn’t stop after he came. He quickened his pace, hands tightening just a little, and he relished in the sounds that spilled from Matt’s and Kevin’s mouths, the faces they made. Kevin buried his face in Aaron’s shoulder when he came, and Matt bit his lip, hiding his face in Aaron’s chest. He licked up some of the come there, and Aaron shivered. 

The three of them lay there together in a post-orgasmic haze, breathing hard and staring at the ceiling. Kevin and Matt kept Aaron comfortable between them, and Aaron’s mind started to go wild again, his thoughts spinning around themselves so fast he couldn’t catch any of them. His heart felt too full in his chest, his body tingling, light and airy, like he was floating. He held one of Kevin’s hands tightly. Matt was kissing the fingers of his other hand. 

Finally, after some time had passed, the come dried on their bodies, Aaron asked, “What do we do now?” Because that seemed to be the biggest question. What would happen now? Were they together, all three of them? It was already clear that Andrew knew, but Aaron didn’t expect that to just be that. And Kevin and Matt were a year above him. They would graduate before him. What would happen after that? What would Aaron do?

What was this, between them? How long was it going to last?

Matt and Kevin looked at each other, and then back at Aaron. Aaron never wanted to leave this bed, this moment. If he did, things would get even more complicated, and he wasn’t ready for that. He didn’t know if he could handle it. 

“We’ll figure it out,” Matt said softly, reassuringly. Aaron wanted to believe him. 

“No matter what happens,” Kevin said, stroking Aaron’s face tenderly, “we’re here, Aaron. Okay? We’ll always be here.”

Aaron wanted to believe that, too. 

For now, it wouldn’t do him any good to dwell on the future. For now, he just wanted to live in the present. 

So he snuggled up between them, kissed them both, and said, “Okay.”

And they smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> other works that i want to (eventually) publish in this series:
> 
> 1\. what happens when kevin and matt graduate  
> 2\. post-aaron's graduation  
> 3\. later on in their lives when they eventually live together  
> 4\. aaron gets hurt
> 
> those are all the ideas i have for now, i can't promise they'll be written any time soon but i'm glad i got this one done at least!
> 
> (the title of the series is because of their ship name and because i like to make puns) (and no, carrots is not an innuendo) (i just think it's cute)


End file.
